One thing I learned this week in my family class is that you need to live intentionally. You need to be an active parent and, if you are not married, an active dater. I know that sounds weird, but let me explain. In order to live intentionally you must plan for things to happen. For example, an active parent would expect their child to do something, and instead of letting it happen they must prevent it. Within dating one must be obvious and not let others guess what you are like. Make sure that the person you are dating knows your intentions and you're not wasting any time. If both of you are dating just to date, then it's good, but let each other know that. If one just wants to date and the other is looking for something more and the other is not, then communicate and make sure you both know where it's going. I know this sounds obvious, but there are so many people that play "hard to get' or try to get the other to guess what they are thinking. No one will take you seriously if you do not take yourself serious.
You must act now. Don't hold things back. As a parent teach your children what they need to know instead of waiting for them to figure it out. If you wait, then they might discover it for themselves or through friends from school. It could be about anything, and you may not want them to learn about it from those other sources. Teach them now.
The point with dating is that you both have to treat each other equally and be selfless. But, please continue this selflessness in marriage.
Be prepared for anything and everything. I know that's hard, but at least try.
This week in my class we talked about Active Parenting. Active Parenting is responding to your child as if you were to expect them to act out. For example, my nephew sucks his thumb, and if you were his parent and wanted him to stop you might put gross stuff on it so he'll stop or you might give him a pacifier to suck on instead. Well, an active parent would find out why he sucks his thumb, and they don't think that he does it just because he likes it. So, that's exactly what my sister-in-law did. She went to the chiropractor and he checked my nephew's vitals. Turns out, he sucks his thumb because he has an iron deficiency. Now that my sister-in-law knows how to fix it she can, and eventually my nephew won't need to suck his thumb anymore.
Being an active parent is so helpful for the parent and the child. It teaches you how to understand what the child is going through and helps you to not be so frustrated by all the crazy things your child does. I firmly believe that everything a child does has a reason behind it. Once the parent finds out that need/reason the parent and child will be happy. If you want to know more about Active Parenting, google it. You'll be able to understand so much more.
Now this is what could happen if you weren't careful with your kids.....haha just kidding. This is my sister. She's on a mission in the Philippines.
Fathers are so prevalent in the home. Very prevalent. It is so crucial for both parents to be in the home to help raise their children. My teacher from my parenting class said that mothers are important during the child's infant and child stage and father are important during the child's adolescent and adult stage. The reason why these stages are important for specific parents is because mothers are nurturers and that is necessary for the infant's well being. Also the father is a great influence on how a teenager should act, whether it be a daughter who needs a male role model or a son who needs someone to look up to. Each of these points are crucial in a child's life. Both the parents NEED to be in a child's life. I just hope that adults understand the crucial view of this point.
Here are my parents. They have been the most influential people in my life and I know that I would not be where I am or who I am without them!
This week in my family relations class I learned a lot about the importance of family counsels. There are many different ways a family makes a decision. Sometimes the dad just decides, the mom decides, the kids say what's supposed to happen, and there are so many other ways. I believe that not all situations have to deal with the entire family, but I do believe that the mom and dad need to be on the same page when a decision is made. Whether the parents decide and then tell their children what's going on or they have a family council and then make the decision.
I love that we have a wonderful example of how to counsel correctly in a family. The First Presidency of the Church and also the Apostles get together every Thursday in the Salt Lake Temple and they have a council. First they are given an agenda before the council starts. This gives them an opportunity to think and pray about what decisions need to be made or what needs to be discussed. Then in the council begins. They tell each other how much they are grateful for one another and how much they love one another. This helps the room to not have any negative feelings. Then they say a prayer to invite the spirit. Then they discuss the agenda. When they are done they say a closing prayer and then eat chocolate or pie together. This last part always make me laugh, but it's so true!
When they are counseling the whole idea is to find out what the Lord wants and then decide if they agree with it. The whole point is to do as the Lord wants in this Church so they have to come up with a consensus because it needs to be unanimous. They start somewhere in the circle and everyone goes around and says what they need to, and the council is not over until they all agree.
I love looking at this as an example because they are portraying what the Lord wants us to do. He knows that the family is the fundamental unit of society and wants us to get along. Use this pattern in your home when you need to have a council with your family. If it gets out of hand stop in the middle and have your family pray again, because there can be no negative feelings when the spirit is present, or decide as husband and wife if necessary. You decide what's best for your family.
I hope that no one has to face a family crisis, but sadly everyone will. We all have gone or will go through a family crisis and it creates and molds the family. It will help us to some together and will teach us things that we might not have learned unless we have gone through it.
As a parent you should use a crisis as a teaching tool for your children. I remember when I was 6 years old my family and friends were all getting ready to go to the public swimming pool and then my mom got a phone call from one of her siblings. They told her that my grandma had a stroke and had passed away. As a little kid who was 6 I didn't know my grandmother that well because she lived in Utah and we lived in Illinois, but i did know who she was. I had few memories of her and I still have those memories. When my mom hung up the phone she asked everyone to come into her room and we all knelt around the bed and prayed for comfort and peace. Suddenly I didn't feel shocked or sad anymore, but I felt okay about what had just happened. I knew right then that it was her time to go and that it was part of Heavenly Father's plan.
Now if my parents hadn't taught me as a little child that my grandma was watching over and protecting my house while I was growing up I might've forgotten her. But I will never forget her because she was my favorite grandparent. She and I had the same birthday and I had her name as my middle name. My mom is one of 14 children and my grandma knew everyone's birthdays. All the grand kids and great grand kids too, but no one had the same birthday. At a little age I felt a close bond with my grandma and I can still feel that bond today.
I know that she is not physically here, but spiritually she is and as a child I was able to understand this. This "family crisis" changed and molded our family. It really brought us together and I am so grateful for the experiences that Heavenly Father gives me in this life! :) These are my mom's parents. Both are passed away now, but because of them I can pass on the Kimball name and traditions.
This week in my family relations class we talked a lot about fidelity in marriage and the importance of that "oneness" between husband and wife. We also discussed about what we should do when the time comes to teach our children about intimacy in marriage.
The best way I can put this is that every child will be different and some children may want to learn from their siblings and that's ok, but make sure they have all their facts straight and that they understand your values as a family. I find that it is MOST important to express the values and appropriateness so you children don't wonder or have questions.
My favorite part about class this week was when my teacher told this story about him and his dad. His dad went up to him one day and said, "I guess it's time we should talk about the birds and the bees." And my teacher said his response as a boy was, "Ok dad, what do you want to know about it?" This seems funny in the beginning, but if your children are not learning about these things from you, then they will find another source and most likely that other source will not have the same standards as you and may put it in the wrong context.
I have always known that it's appropriate for my kids to be knowledgeable in case situations may arise, but you don't want to teach them too early or too young. As I said earlier, each child is different. Watch for the signs and have an open relationship with them so they are willing to ask you questions and you don't make them feel awkward or embarrassed for asking. I know that I'm not perfect and I will not be a perfect mom, but if I plan what I will do in the future I won't have to question myself when the time comes.
Teach your children correct truths and they will have to make the choice to follow that path on their own.
I love spending time with my family! I get to have fun, relax a little from the every day routine, and I get to watch how they react with one another. I am at my in-laws house right now and I believe the best way for a person to learn about family is to watch their own. I learn from my in-laws how to treat my future children and how I should treat others in general. Coming to this home is a wonderful reminder to do better.
I think my favorite part about spending time with this family is spending time with my nieces and nephews and I love the look on their face when they see Aunt Cherise! They get so happy when they see me and they give me big hugs. This makes me excited about my future children in so many ways! My sister-in-law Sariah says that I'll be a good mom one day, but I hope that that statement stays true. She said that because I play and have fun with her kids and I play with the kids here at the house I'm staying at. In the future I want to be a fun mom like my mom and I want them to like me. I can't wait to have children and be with them forever!
I know this is a random post, but there was so much that I wanted to say. I just love having a family and learning from their experiences. I love my family!
This is a picture of me with my nieces and nephews and my brother Marc.
There are 4 types of love: Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape. Storge is the love between a parent and child. It's that special bond, closeness, commitment, and obligation you have for one another. Philia is the friendship love. That's why Philadelphia was names after it. Eros is the romantic love, infatuation, or a longing to be with one another. And last but not least is Agape which is the Christian type love. You have this love when you realize that a person is a child of God and because of that fact you are willing to whatever for that person.
In my class we talked about the fact that Charity, which is the pure love of Christ, fits within all of the these categories. Actually no, I switch that...All of these categories fit under Charity. I love that fact because in a marriage we want to do all we can to have Charity for our spouse and love them for everything that they are. If we are to treat them with Charity then we must love them in all of these ways. We must have a bond with them, be a friend with them, have a romantic passion for them, and love and do service for them because they are a child of our Heavenly Father. I know that I have expressed my love to my husband in all of these categories, and I hope that it is that way with all marriages. That's how we can stay together and stay strong.
I love my husband, Karl, so much and what better way to show it than to express it in two days on Valentine's Day! We should really be expressing all these types of "love" everyday, but why not make a special effort on Valentine's Day. Do service for your loved one, hold their hand, spend time with them, make them a gift from your talent, and tell them "I LOVE YOU!" These are part of the 5 languages of love, so share your love!!!!
PS these are the kissing rocks in Wyoming. You should go there some time! As you drive by you see the big Indian nose getting closer to the other rock. When my family would drive to Utah we would pass these every year! I love it!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!
Something really hit me this week in my Family Relations class. I noticed that "the world" or "Satan" is out to get the family. There are so many things that go on to try to ruin the family and bring it down. Satan does not have a family and will never have one and that makes him jealous. He tries to do all he can so that there are less children and less families in this world. Think about China and their laws about only having one child and it being a boy. Or think of how many gay couples there are. My teacher said something about gay couples that really hit me. He said that the more male gay couples there are the more women there will be in this life that will not be blessed with the opportunity to have a family in this life. My teacher almost cried when he said that.
It's so sad to me because there are so many people out there that think it's okay to not have a family the way that God has intended us to have one. There are so many resources for us to survive on, and there are not too many people on this planet. Please don't think of what the world wants for my family, but what you want for your family and what your Heavenly Father wants.
We all have a family. That's how we got here. So what if ours looks different from those around us, that's what makes us unique. I love having a big, loud, obnoxious, and in your face type of family, but others might hate that. There are many different types of families and that's okay, just make sure you love them!
In class this week we discussed how you can inherit traits from your family, whether it's from your aunt or mother you have traits that are similar to your family. The family is a key environment for people to grow up so we can learn and progress toward perfection. I know that I have inherited traits from my family. For example, some of my behaviors are like my mom, I sing like my grandmother used to, and I make jokes like my brothers. We all have traits like those around us because they have an effect on us and we're with them at 70% of the day. I love being around my hubby because we become more and more like each other and we get to create a family one day that will be just like us. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father gave us the perfect environment to be raised around so we can help and lift one another through this crazy life. And along the way we become so much alike at the end!
And this isn't even everyone in my family. Two of my brothers and their families are missing. This is at my wedding.
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